“Parents today don’t want to give their child a chance to fail. The first time there’s adversity, the kids don’t know what to do. They are not able to fight through things." -Muffet McGraw (Notre Dame Women's Basketball Coach)
1. Failure creates resiliency
Learning to fail in a safe and controlled environment is really what sports are all about for kids. Sporting events create a pseudo high stakes environment where kids are put under pressure and half of them are forced to lose. This creates an opportunity for parents and coaches to teach kids that failure is part of the natural process of learning, growing, and getting better at something. It’s important for kids to understand that no one is born great at doing the things that they love.
It takes hard work, dedication, and practice to be great at something. Learning to fail and get back up and try again instills resiliency in kids. Resiliency is a skill that many kids lack and it is one of the most imperative skills to successfully navigate the ups and downs that life will inevitably throw at them. Resilient kids are happier and more successful in all walks of life.
2. Failure teaches kids to do hard things
Sports are a great opportunity for kids to learn how to do hard things and handle adversity. These are skills they will need to be happy and successful in life. Parents should be there to help kids and encourage them to keep going and learn how to continue to fail and move forward. I always tell my kids that failure is the way we learn, and that it’s only really a failure if we refuse to learn from it. Teach kids that everyone has to make mistakes if they want to learn, grow, and improve.
Accomplishing hard things builds confidence and empowers kids to try the next hard thing and then the next hard thing. Small successes will eventually build into bigger success which will slowly build to kids having the self-confidence to go after anything they want! Kids learn best by seeing things modeled for them by the adults that they love and trust. Watching parents, older siblings, coaches, etc., do hard things and get back up when then fail will show kids that failing at something doesn’t make them a failure, it makes them a learner. So, don’t be afraid to fail, take a risk to benefit you and your kids!
“You learn so many things playing different sports. You may play something where you’re not the best player on the team. You learn what it’s like to be in that situation and how to handle it. It can help you down the line.” - Muffet McGraw (Notre Dame Women's Basketball Coach)
3. Failure can encourage kids to find joy in the process
Not being the best player on the team can teach kids more than being the star player. It is inevitable in life that kids will need to do something they aren’t great at or try something they think they can’t do. It is an important skill to understand that it’s okay not to be the best and be able to try anyway! Teach kids to focus on their personal growth and that real victory is simply in trying and learning, not in winning and being the best.
Teaching young athletes that failing doesn’t make them a failure will help them develop the mindset that doing hard things that make them happy is more rewarding than doing things that they can easily find success in. If kids put all of their focus into the end result of winning or being the best on the team when they lose (which will happen a lot) it will feel like all of their hard work was for nothing. This will leave kids feeling hopeless, like a true failure, and eventually drive them to quit their sport and give up on themselves.
